Sleeper Awakened

WITHOUT FILM, SOMETHING SLEEPS INSIDE US AND SELDOM AWAKENS. THE SLEEPER MUST AWAKEN.

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PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING (2018)

March 31, 2018 by Jacob Nelson in 2018, 3, ACTION, P, SCIENCE FICTION
"It really had the ambition and feel of a made for TV sci-if movie, but with a huge budget."
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March 31, 2018 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Steven S. DeKnight, John Boyega, Scott Eastwood, Cailee Spaeny, Burn Gorman, Charlie Day, Tian Jing, Rinko Kikuchi
2018, 3, ACTION, P, SCIENCE FICTION
Comment

CLOVERFIELD PARADOX (2018)

February 06, 2018 by Jacob Nelson in 3, C, SCIENCE FICTION, 2018
"It fails at frightening, fumbles at funny and falters at fulfilling sci-fi."
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February 06, 2018 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Julius Onah, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, David Oyelowo, Daniel Bruhl, John Ortiz, Chris O'Dowd, Aksel Hennie, Ziyi Zhang, Elizabeth Debicki, Donal Logue
3, C, SCIENCE FICTION, 2018
Comment

BRIGHT (2017)

January 09, 2018 by Jacob Nelson in 2017, 3, ACTION, B, FANTASY
"Training Day in a world where we coexist with magic isn’t without merit, but in every aspect of execution it did not work."
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January 09, 2018 /Jacob Nelson /Source
David Ayer, Max Landis, Will Smith, Joel Edgerton, Noomi Rapace, Lucy Fry, Edgar Ramirez, Alex Meraz
2017, 3, ACTION, B, FANTASY
Comment

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (2017)

December 11, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2017, 3, ACTION, FANTASY, K
"This is a hyper smorgasbord of flash and unnecessary that will leave you saying…”meh”."
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December 11, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Guy Ritchie, Charlie Hunnam, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Jude Law, Djimon Hounsou, Eric Bana, Aidan Gillen, Poppy Delevingne
2017, 3, ACTION, FANTASY, K
Comment

JUSTICE LEAGUE (2017)

November 23, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2017, 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, J
"The gist of feelings about this film boils down to the statement, “well, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been”."
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November 23, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Zack Snyder, Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, J.K. Simmons, Ciarán Hinds, Amber Heard
2017, 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, J
Comment

VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS (2017)

November 08, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 3, 2017, ACTION, SCIENCE FICTION, V

"A big budget mega long Dr. Who episode without the wit, emotion, or purpose."

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November 08, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Luc Besson, Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, Herbie Hancock, Kris Wu, Rutger Hauer
3, 2017, ACTION, SCIENCE FICTION, V
Comment

DAEMONIUM: SOLDIER OF THE UNDERWORLD (2015)

May 28, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2015, 3, ACTION, D, FANTASY, SCIENCE FICTION, FOREIGN
"There are worse ways to spend a couple hours but I can’t label it “good”."
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May 28, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Pablo Parés, Caros Angus, Dany Casco
2015, 3, ACTION, D, FANTASY, SCIENCE FICTION, FOREIGN
Comment

KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017)

April 22, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2017, 3, ACTION, FANTASY, K, Oscars 2018
"superficial and spectacularly unsatisfying"
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April 22, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John C. Reilly, John Goodman, Corey Hawkins, John Ortiz, Tian Jing, Toby Kebbell
2017, 3, ACTION, FANTASY, K, Oscars 2018
Comment

XXX: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE (2017)

March 31, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2017, 3, ACTION, SPY, X
"...every element produced a groan, a drink, or both"
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March 31, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
D.J. Caruso, Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Toni Collette, Samuel L. Jackson, Ice Cube, Rory McCann, Nina Dobrev
2017, 3, ACTION, SPY, X
Comment

MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES (2016)

January 22, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, COMEDY, M, ROMANCE
"Party favors in the form of eye rolls and exasperated sighs were doled out instead of rib-splitting gags and interesting ongoings."
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January 22, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Jake Szymanski, Zac Efron, Adam Devine, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza, Alice Wetterlund, Marc Maron, Stephen Root, Stephanie Faracy, Jake Johnson
2016, 3, COMEDY, M, ROMANCE
Comment

PASSENGERS (2016)

January 03, 2017 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, DRAMA, P, ROMANCE, SCIENCE FICTION, Oscars 2017
"It was a derelict ship floating in the ether through bad ideas, flimsy logic, and unsympathetic characters."
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January 03, 2017 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Morten Tyldum, Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt, Michael Sheen, Laurence Fishburne
2016, 3, DRAMA, P, ROMANCE, SCIENCE FICTION, Oscars 2017
Comment

R100 (2013)

December 20, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2013, 3, COMEDY, DRAMA, FOREIGN, FANTASY, R
"...Gonzo sheet thrown over it and it is beaten with insanity sticks to some masochistic climax."
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December 20, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Hitoshi Matsumoto, Nao Ohmori, Shinobu Terajima
2013, 3, COMEDY, DRAMA, FOREIGN, FANTASY, R
Comment

OFFICER DOWNE (2016)

November 30, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, COMIC BOOK, O, ACTION
"a bevy of problematic elements and unpolished pieces that hinder the film and activated my “Nitpicker 9000”."
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November 30, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Shawn Crahan, Kim Coates, Alison Lohman, Sam Witwer, Luna Lauren Velez
2016, 3, COMIC BOOK, O, ACTION
Comment

GREASY STRANGLER (2016)

November 12, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, COMEDY, G, HORROR
"This is a bizarrity that both hits and misses wildly."
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November 12, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Jim Hosking, Michael St. Michaels, Sky Elobar, Elizabeth De Razzo
2016, 3, COMEDY, G, HORROR
Comment

MICHAEL MOORE IN TRUMPLAND (2016)

October 27, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, DOCUMENTARY, M
"Plays more like a love-letter to Hillary, a slight jab at Trump and a self-serving Moore ideas jerk-off session."
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October 27, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Michael Moore
2016, 3, DOCUMENTARY, M
Comment

THE ALCHEMIST COOKBOOK (2016)

October 11, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, A, DRAMA, HORROR
"Potrykus has a strange fascination with those on the edge of society, who see the world completely differently, strange social identity/interactions, and are scheming towards some quick & easy leg up without regard or empathy for others."
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October 11, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Joel Potrykus, Ty Hickson, Amari Cheatom
2016, 3, A, DRAMA, HORROR
Comment

THE SHALLOWS (2106)

August 25, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, DRAMA, HORROR, S
"I believe they wanted Jaws/Open Water meets 127 Hours, but the film veers into Jaws 3/4 or even Deep Blue Sea territory"
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August 25, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
James Collet-Serra, Blake Lively
2016, 3, DRAMA, HORROR, S
Comment

SAUSAGE PARTY (2016)

August 23, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, ANIMATED, COMEDY, S
It's all food puns, crude shtick, and unrelenting, shall we say, "racial/cultural insensitivity".
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August 23, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Greg Tiernan, Conrad Vernon, Michael Cera, James Franco, Bill Hader, Salma Hayek, Jonah Hill, Anders Holm, Nick Kroll, Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, Edward Norton, Nicole Oliver, Paul Rudd, Kristen Wiig
2016, 3, ANIMATED, COMEDY, S
Comment

THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS (2016)

August 11, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, ANIMATED, COMEDY, S
Safe, boring, tired, this film brought nothing but the mediocre "seen this before"
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August 11, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Chris Renaud, Yarrow Cheney, Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Jenny Slate, Ellie Kemper, Albert Brooks, Lake Bell, Dana Carvey, Steve Coogan
2016, 3, ANIMATED, COMEDY, S
Comment

WARCRAFT (2016)

July 18, 2016 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, ACTION, FANTASY, W
" A weak effort adorned with glitzy CGI/fantasy baubles, but nigh completely hollow and vapid"
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July 18, 2016 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Duncan Jones, Travis Fimmel, Paula Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper, Toby Kebbell, Clancy Brown, Ruth Negga
2016, 3, ACTION, FANTASY, W
Comment
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