Sleeper Awakened

WITHOUT FILM, SOMETHING SLEEPS INSIDE US AND SELDOM AWAKENS. THE SLEEPER MUST AWAKEN.

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TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG (2020) & A GUIDE TO SECOND DATE SEX (2019)

May 25, 2020 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 2020, 3, 6, BIOGRAPHY, COMEDY, CRIME, DRAMA, FOREIGN, G, ROMANCE, T

5/6/20 - TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG (2020) - 6+/10

Manic and poetic, narratively and visually. It is punk, it is hard steel with a soft lacy dress underneath, it is a rebellion against truth and lies and form and fashion - it carves its own weathered path through the rock of myth. It asks for no quarter and begs for no virtuous admiration. It is, bleak and severe as the embittered progeny of an inhospitable land.

The spotlight night travels were enchanting. The dps work was quite good. As was the acting from a smorgasbord of kind and quality. McKay solidified his passion filled physicality and determined acting prowess. He is a star on the come up.Yes, this isn’t a “true” account, but it is a wickedly alternative twist on a legend, and it popped in a delightful way for me.

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5/12/20 - A GUIDE TO SECOND DATE SEX (2019) - 3+/4-/10

A pretty generic romcom setup that struggles to get out of the gate. Eventually it hooks into a serviceable, if not pretty charming groove, but even at its height it still has some grating elements and can’t get out of its own way. I wanted to like this, seeing as how I like the actors and I thought the premise was cute, but it managed to have too many cringe worthy social situations, too many dickhead characters, it lacked in making an emotional connection for the majority, and it punched down instead of up where it could have swung.

The best parts of this film are pretty amiable, but they kept getting trumped by overwrought plotting or poor screenplay decisions/characters. It’s like it wanted to be more “teen ready” when it would have benefited from trying to appeal to an older audience. I didn’t hate the viewing, but it steered away from the path up the road to the shining hill and decided to drift off into cheesy stripmall nothingness.

May 25, 2020 /Jacob Nelson
Justin Kurzel, George MacKay, Essie Davis, Nicholas Hoult, Charlie Hunnam, Russell Crowe, Claudia Karvan, Thomasin McKenzie, Rachel Hirons, Alexandra Roach, Emma Rigby, Michael Socha
2019, 2020, 3, 6, BIOGRAPHY, COMEDY, CRIME, DRAMA, FOREIGN, G, ROMANCE, T
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DAUGHTER OF THE WOLF (2019)

March 30, 2020 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ACTION, D, DRAMA

“seeds of ideas that never grew into flowering plants”

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March 30, 2020 /Jacob Nelson /Source
David Hackl, Gina Carano, Richard Dreyfuss, Brendan Fehr, Sydelle Noel
2019, 3, ACTION, D, DRAMA
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GEMINI MAN (2019)

March 21, 2020 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ACTION, DRAMA, G, SCIENCE FICTION

“a lifeless clone of an interesting drama filled action movie - impotent and unremarkable”

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March 21, 2020 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Ang Lee, Will Smith, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Clive Owen, Benedict Wong
2019, 3, ACTION, DRAMA, G, SCIENCE FICTION
Comment

MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL (2019)

January 21, 2020 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, FAMILY, FANTASY, M, Oscars 2020

“a dark witches magically brewed spell, but instead of using virgin’s blood they used almond milk”

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January 21, 2020 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Joachim Rønning, Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Harris Dickinson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sam Riley, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Ed Skrein, Robert Lindsey, Jenn Murray, Lesley Manville, Juno Temple
2019, 3, FAMILY, FANTASY, M, Oscars 2020
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THE LION KING (2019)

January 20, 2020 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ANIMATED, FAMILY, L, Oscars 2020

“ if the surroundings are CGI, and the characters are CGI, and it is about anthropomorphized animals, with not a single pertinent live action element, is it live action?”

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January 20, 2020 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Jon Favreau, Chiwetel Ejiofor, John Oliver, James Earl Jones, Alfre Woodard, Keegan-Michael Key, Eric André, Florence Kasumba, Seth Rogen, Billy Eichner, Donald Glover, Beyoncé
2019, 3, ANIMATED, FAMILY, L, Oscars 2020

6 UNDERGROUND (2019)

December 18, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ACTION, S

“…cuts, cranes, tna, splosions, close-ups, extremes, tna, flashy cars, big guns, splosions…”

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December 18, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Michael Bay, Ryan Reynolds, Mélanie Laurent, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ben Hardy, Adria Arjona, Dave Franco, Corey Hawkins
2019, 3, ACTION, S
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RAMBO: LAST BLOOD (2019)

December 14, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ACTION, R

“pretty slow and it is mostly a set up for an old bat to be whacked upon some fools”

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December 14, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Adrian Grunberg, Sylvester Stallone, Paz Vega, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Yvette Monreal
2019, 3, ACTION, R
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47 METERS DOWN (2017) & 47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED (2019)

October 30, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2, 2017, 2019, 3, F, HORROR

Carcharias ex machina

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October 30, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Johannes Roberts, Sophie Nélisse, Corinne Foxx, Brianne Tju, Sistine Rose Stallone, John Corbett, Mandy Moore, Matthew Modine, Claire Holt
2, 2017, 2019, 3, F, HORROR
Comment

ALADDIN (2019)

October 22, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, A, FAMILY, FANTASY, MUSICAL

“manages to strip out the joy and magic from one of your beloved childhood faves”

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October 22, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Guy Ritchie, Will Smith, Mena Massoud, Naomi Scott, Marwan Kenzari, Navid Negahban
2019, 3, A, FAMILY, FANTASY, MUSICAL
Comment

PURE (2019)

September 11, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, HORROR, P, THRILLER

“it fizzled as a premature ember rather than the raging blistering inferno the material provided for”

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September 11, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Hannah Macpherson, Jahkara Smith, McKaley Miller, Ciara Bravo, Annalisa Cochrane, Scott Porter, Jonathan Chase
2019, 3, HORROR, P, THRILLER
Comment

ANNA (2019)

August 16, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ACTION, A, SPY

“ the titillation of a cereal box, with just about as much surprise and excitement”

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August 16, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Luc Besson, Sasha Luss, Helen Mirren, Luke Evans, Cillian Murphy, Lera Abova
2019, 3, ACTION, A, SPY
Comment

A SIMPLE FAVOR (2018)

August 14, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2018, 3, COMEDY, DRAMA, S

“we get a bloated, try hard of a monstrosity that leaves no one satisfied”

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August 14, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Paul Feig, Blake Lively, Henry Golding, Anna Kendrick
2018, 3, COMEDY, DRAMA, S
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THE DOMESTICS (2018)

May 08, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2018, 3, ACTION, D, SCIENCE FICTION, THRILLER

“only “mad” Max you might find here is an angry viewer dissatisfied with motivation and dialogue”

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May 08, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Mike P. Nelson, Kate Bosworth, Tyler Heochlin, Sonoya Mizuno, Lance Reddick, Kaden Washington Lewis, David Dastmalchian, Thomas Francis Murphy, Jeff Chase, Dana Gourrier
2018, 3, ACTION, D, SCIENCE FICTION, THRILLER
Comment

HELLBOY (2019)

April 17, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2019, 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, FANTASY, H

“Unnecessary, unwanted, and ultimately, unsatisfactory, unfortunately. “

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April 17, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Neil Marshall, David Harbour, Ian McShane, Milla Jovovich, Penelope Mitchell, Sophie Okonedo, Thomas Haden Church, Sasha Lane, Daniel Dae Kim
2019, 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, FANTASY, H
Comment

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (2018)

February 07, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2018, 3, COMEDY, C, FAMILY, Oscars 2019

“hour and a half of ho-hum nothingness and monotonous generic non-drama”

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February 07, 2019 /Jacob Nelson
Marc Forster, Ewan McGregor, Hayley Atwell, Bronte Carmichael, Mark Gatiss, Jim Cummings, Brad Garrett, Peter Capaldi, Toby Jones
2018, 3, COMEDY, C, FAMILY, Oscars 2019
Comment

POLAR (2019)

January 28, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, P

“A raging fire of flash and flesh, but resulting in only ruin. “

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January 28, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Jonas Åkerlund, Mads Mikkelsen, Vanessa Hudgens, Katheryn Winnick, Fei Ren, Ruby O. Fee, Matt Lucas, Robert Maillet, Josh Cruddas, Anthony Grant, Richard Dreyfuss
3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, P
Comment

THE PREDATOR (2018)

January 16, 2019 by Jacob Nelson in 2018, 3, ACTION, P, SCIENCE FICTION

“it felt more like a joke homage about Predator films than an earnest & violent killer Predator flick”

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January 16, 2019 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Shane Black, Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes, Jacob Tremblay, Keegan-Michael Key, Olivia Munn, Sterling K. Brown, Thomas Jane, Alfie Allen, Jake Busey
2018, 3, ACTION, P, SCIENCE FICTION
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VENOM (2018)

October 10, 2018 by Jacob Nelson in 2018, 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, SCIENCE FICTION, V

“All hoped hype sizzle with no substance or real value, which is fairly fitting for a movie about Venom”

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October 10, 2018 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Ruben Fleischer, Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, Scott Haze, Reid Scott, Jenny Slate, Woody Harrelson
2018, 3, ACTION, COMIC BOOK, SCIENCE FICTION, V
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THE BABYSITTER (2017)

April 06, 2018 by Jacob Nelson in 2017, 3, B, COMEDY, HORROR
"It was not quirky enough to be special, nor funny enough to be justified."
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April 06, 2018 /Jacob Nelson /Source
McG, Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, Robbie Amell, Hana Mae lee, Bella Thorne, Leslie Bibb, Ken Marino
2017, 3, B, COMEDY, HORROR
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PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES (2016)

April 04, 2018 by Jacob Nelson in 2016, 3, ACTION, HORROR, P, ROMANCE, ZOMBIE
"The breasts are pushed up, the effects popping out, and my spiritless disdain boiling over."
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April 04, 2018 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Burr Steers, Lily James, Sam Riley, Bella Heathcote, Ellie Bamber, Millie Brady, Suki Waterhouse, Douglas Booth, Charles Dance, Matt Smith, Lena Headey
2016, 3, ACTION, HORROR, P, ROMANCE, ZOMBIE
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