1/26/19 - Polar (2019) - 2+/3-/10

This wants to ride the coattails of John Wick so hard, but the style here is so cartoonish and over-the-top, it becomes somewhat revolting. It goes for bold bubblegum and neon flatulence rather than slickness or stark subtlety. Similar to when others tried to copy and “amp up” Guy Ritchie’s and Tony Scott’s style. Shootout, Lucky Number Slevin, Smokin’ Aces, films of that ilk are Polar’s brethren. A regurgitation of style for a lowest common denominator audience. A sense that garishness and unsavoriness will turn you on more than put you out. But for me, Polar left me in the cold.

The weirdest part of it all is that the comic is nearly all black and white. Spartan but still intense without unnecessary comic extravagance. It is a noir action spectacle, similar to a Sin City but with more bombast. They went the complete opposite way with this, sacrificing the strengths of the comic to cater some cockamamie taste for infantile humor, Harley Quinn bravado, and vulgar sexualized violence. These things can be used to great effect in moderation and with purpose, but this was a bright pink and shit flinging fiasco that served only to titillate.

This is all so dirty and blatantly too much. And for what? Why do scene after scene of hooking a young woman on heroin? Why the same shitty wipe? The same future/past Ritchie-vision montage? All of these professional kills are so ridiculously drawn out only to instill unease or sick humor. All so easy and gross...The childhood violation story certainly felt out of place and somewhat exploitative in this crass sex filled fireworks show. The “twist” was ultra-predictable as well.

I will give credit for the school scene. That was legitimately fun. Mads is also his usual watchable self, which certainly helps to choke this film down. It sways in ways that try to tempt, to get you to the next scene. Much like a car crash of strippers in a nitroglycerin factory. A raging fire of flash and flesh, but resulting in only ruin. Polar is a raging 15 year old’s Candyland erection, wasted, disposable, and signifying nothing. It isn’t the worst thing you will see but it is nearly wholly worthless.

*** What the hell is Richard Dreyfus doing in this film?***