KONG...ZILLA... on the BIG SCREEN, seen as behemothic, beastly and bold as it is meant to be. There is a legitimate primal ‘cool’ to the concept and execution but... Woof. Sometimes I feel they intentionally drive these into the ground. It’s dumb big-budget mass pleasing action that I get and can even see how it would be fun, but I am kept a little Godzilla arm’s length away from.
For a few gargantuan flickering moments, the staggering magnitude of their ferocity lands. Truly two titans in battle; lazer beams, atomic fire, and ancient battle axes and all. Undoubtedly rule-of-cool ingredients. But quickly, when it isn’t bum rushed by bizarrely hamfisted human BS, it lays waste; to logic as much as the land. Quickly it all becomes a waste full of stakeless nonsense. During its 72 9/11s, their concussive cataclysm just becomes a dull and monotonous void.
Continually, in every one of these recent Godzilla & Kong films (Godzilla, Kong: Skull Island, Godzilla: King of the Monsters), they are always trying to inject human drama. It can never just be “people trying to stay alive as a giant radioactive lizard or hulking ape wreaks havoc”, they must always be at the heart of the plot, a tender pubescent little girl for the monster to be pals with, or contriving some cockamamie science jargon to make our eyes roll back in our heads. It doesn’t need to be Altman or have pointed clever Sorkin dialogue, but must it be useless and belittling garbage?
SPOILERS AHEAD
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This bunk science shit just leaves me shaking my head in the theater: How did they build a geodesic Truman Show some on a mystery impossible-to-get-to island? They can just knock Kong out whenever they want? He learned complex sign language without anyone knowing?
Those quandaries are just the tip of the iceberg while I watch, which bring guffaws instead of excitement...Society is exactly the same even though Titans are well known? People don’t care to know where they come from or do more about it? What is Monarch’s power, reach, and jurisdiction? Who pays for all of this? Nobody else explores the hollow earth? So they can easily make super facilities in Hong Kong, with its zero available space, but no one knows? No explanation of the machine-kaiju interface other than some throwaway “learning computer” line as it is hooked up to an old skull? How does it gain sentience? How does a theoretical physicist fly a super ship? The gravity super science didn’t seem necessary at all? There is a blackhole-ish thingy at the entrance to the hollow earth? They found this place that is completely unique to all human experience and known science but no one really seems to care? Finding a core sample and downloading it’s specs doesn’t power a giant jaeger monster thousands of miles away. How does exploding a battery powered ship on a giant apes chest act as a defibrillator? Why does nobody in these movies care about giant lost civilizations? Millions of people died, one of Earth’s greatest and historic cities is dust, and nobody bats an eye or grieves?... All of these are mere scraps on the nonsense pile, fodder for the fire of eye-rolls and apathy.
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SPOILERS END
It’s not like it all has to make sense. I mean, look at Pacific Rim. They throw tons of similar plotlines, science, and world building; the difference is that they actually took time to show some of that, explain the basics, and provide a much more logical lived in existence. It also helps that the film is fun, unique, directed well, and the human drama is relevant. For me, its the difference between CGI eye glaze and enticing fandom fodder.
