DARK PHOENIX (2019)

6/11/19 - Dark Phoenix - 4+/10

Dark Phoenix is not a withering dark death nor is it a glorious fiery rebirth. Similarly it is not detestable garbage or an amazing cinematic spectacle. No. In truth, Dark Phoenix, the last of its X-Men line, is a quintessential “cable movie” - a film that you miss in the theater and forget until one night, while flipping through the channels in an unmotivated stupor, you stumble upon it. You watch it, find it solid enough, possibly even enjoyable, and quickly forget it again. DP is between a strong mediocre film and a lackluster decent film. It’s..fine-ish.

The feature itself is pretty “meh”.The emotional beats often felt trite and the shifts in plot and characterization were forced. The tone stays fairly steady and the set prices are pretty good, but most of the time it was hard to muster any real caring.

Didn’t care much for the “my everything is in this one emotion/decision, nothing really happens, but I now feel the exact opposite” storytelling method. This happened with multiple characters, multiple times and had me rolling my eyes. Perhaps in the next version of the script it would be fleshed out... I also hated the “everyone sees us as superheroes but a couple cops get roughed up and it is time to institute internment camps” horse hockey. I mean, this is insanity and happens at the snap of fingers. There is a literal X Batpbone to the president, but in 2 days, they disconnect that and are ready to murder all the mutants. These same mutants that were cheered and recognized as the heroes of the world. Isn’t that what the 2000 one was all about? Didn’t they have hearings and debates about all of this? Don’t these things take time, especially when no one died? If only the X-Men were associated with the NRA, they would have no worries. Does the 2nd Amendment cover mutant arms?

Despite Quicksilver essentially being written out, Jennifer Lawrence unable to stifle her disdain at being Mystique, and Jessica Chastain given literally nothing, there were some cool things to enjoy with this flick. Seeing McAvoy and Fassbender reprise their roles one last was fun. They always bring it. Turner as Jean was good, even if she was nebulous in her tale. Nightcrawler stole the show, with his “dark” turn on the train, which was also a highlight of the movie. Some really cool action there.

I had low expectations for this one, hearing only negatives. It wasn’t as bad as it was made out to be, but it also wasn’t good. This was a lackluster and truncated finale to a bit of a misfire of a film series. The first one was half a good film. The 2nd had moments, but mostly I didn’t like it. The 3rd a bit of a dry fart (which the continuity of was essentially forgotten). So the final was kinda ok. If you don’t see it, I don’t think you will really miss much. If you are a big fan, it just might trigger that mutant melodrama. For me, I am ok to exit this X franchise.