MOONFALL (2022)

2/10/22 - Moonfall (2022) - 2/10

Moonfall, as a ridiculous low-tier blockbuster spectacle of ample stupidity, breaks the cardinal rule. You can be bad and you can be dumb but the one thing that is never allowed is being boring. The characters, plot, drama, action, and believability of this film are as hollow as the moon. Roland Emerich has completely lost his touch as the master of the world-ending bonkers ballet because this one completely fails in every way possible.

The crux of this flick, the concept that the moon is not a normal moon but a megastructure satellite placed there by an advanced civilization, is a real theory that thousands(?) buy into. Unfortunately, they don’t even lean in to that crazy. In the same way we get incomplete and milquetoast characters that are limply trying to manufacture drama while being wholly forgettable, the scientific craziness is a banal bust. Nothing makes sense, which I almost buy into because I’m watching a movie about a falling fake moon, but the whole structure of the plot and its ideas collapse like a Jenga game missing the center blocks.

I would point to the generic-ness of the characters, but they are too vacant to dignify blandness. No dramatic weight do they carry nor get buried in as they skip from one asinine catastrophe to another one. The whole thing is weak and limp to the point that there isn’t anything of any worth to recommend anyone see. If only gravity had weakened and sucked this film from our planet - we would all be better for it.

(P.S. If we have another cosmic catastrophe of the sun doing something or asteroids or moons exploding or whatever and everyone continues to use their cellphones with their now non-existent satellites, I will scream.)