7/20/20 - The Pool (2019) - 3-/10

Talk about a film that starts me out at a low 6/10 and just keeps free falling. The idea of a Saw like movie where a man has to figure out how to survive and escape a drained deep pool with a crocodile? Yes! Sign me up. But this became a cluttered ultimate comedy of errors. I was in the “I just want to see what happens” frame of mind but it can’t get out of its way to drain my interest pool.

It can’t help but put too many obstacles in the way of the protagonist. There is the pool (obvious), but there is also the nail, the phone, the dog, the girlfriend, the head wound, the pregnancy, the insulin, the dog whistle, barbed wire, the broken leg, the OTHER POOL (caps necessary), disappearing ladder, nowhere pipes, and what should be the ultimate antagonistic adversary, the crocodile. It just becomes untenable and overwrought, almost to the point of a joke. If only it was funny...

The CGI isn’t bad, as long as the croc and human DON'T interact, which is a problem. Without that, it relies on the very uneven acting of our heroes (?). The abortion drama feels a little more steeped in the societal norms of Thailand but end up serving some kind of dramatic purpose, so there is that.

They also try hard to get us onboard with our lead, as he becomes quite the Macguyver, making plenty of tools with nothing to use. It almost works out forth viewer when he goes full Liam Neeson fighting wolves and we prepare for BARBED WIRE CROC KUMITE! It was trying to get me on board again, but that was short-lived.

Eventually, despite a Deus Ex Croc! and a Flying Pole Punch!, I completely lost faith in this film as they pushed it over the edge, feeling the need to push through to some horrid and unforgivable lengths. Honestly, at end point, I had to say F this film. The last climb of this film is the worst thing I have seen in a movie all year (excluding all of Verotika).

By the end of the film, should I be hoping for the protagonist’s grisly death due to the shitty exploitative and manipulative actions of the filmmakers up to that point? Probably not, but I was. Boo.