12/23/18 - Mary Poppins Returns (2018) - 3+/4-/10

I actively disliked this film. Is it awful? No. Of course not. But it t was not for me and I did not enjoy. I felt bored, uninspired, and dulled. Everything felt flat and rote. Quite the stodgy bake, Mary.

The “magic” of this Poppins felt so utterly manufactured. A film like Paddington naturally exuded a charm and sweetness, but Poppins appeared to be struggling a Sysyphean boulder, forever struggling to bring a naturalness and potency. Maybe it was there in spades and I just didn’t have the childlike eyes to see, but for me, despite the effort and meticulous design, I had no love and no connection.

Blunt was sufficient, but as like the whole, I was waiting for the wonder. She was good but I didn’t see the amazement. I really like her but... “meh”...fine. Miranda was over the top but likable. His accent was unfortunate, but easy to dismiss. He tries and does well with every task he is given.

Where was the rest of the city? Where was the life of London? I didn’t care for any of the songs, which was highly unfortunate. I didn’t like the half cocked romance, the oh-too-obvious paper/important toy reveal, the unearned villain conflict, the bizarre Alzheimer Admiral nuisance (even if he was in the original!), and the disengagement of loss and longing due to the mother’s lack of presence. I think much of this film is both terribly simplistic and overly-complicated by worthless detoured adventures/extraneous characters & contrivances.

What I did latch onto? Ben Whishaw plays an upbeat but broken father well. Having been through hardship that is touched upon but not mined. He may be a tad milquetoast but I attached to the emotional paces he was passing through. I also appreciate that the children weren’t little tyrants, like the original, but upstanding and caring helpers. The concept of recapturing the flame of their gutted childhoods was a sweet and endearing turn.

Honestly, I had little interest before seeing it and not much more during. It was a struggle not to look at my watch or fall asleep. I don’t tend to like kids/family vehicles. I don’t really care for musicals. I think it just wasn’t for me, in any way, and my lack of enjoyment showed. I recognize the spectacle and I appreciated the work, which is why I can’t ultimately pan it, but I had no love. With the hubbub, I expected it to over-perform and prove my cold heart wrong (like in a Paddington or Kubo and the Two Strings), but Mary could not conjure any strange alchemy to morph the inert stone in my chest.