12/30/31 - Cats (2019) - 2/10 (or ineffable insane 12)

Just, literally, jaw dropping insane. Not in a shock filled push to the edge kind of way but more in a “people will buy into and get this?” kind madness. The idea of someone throwing millions of dollars at this and getting this congealed hairball of bizarre uncomfortableness and gobbledygook boggles my already fouled brain. But, that makes as much sense as anything else in this feline fever dream.

It was like explaining an alien religion, watching them writhe, undulate, and profess their passion for some mystical unknown through indecipherable gibberish. Perhaps, if I had seen and loved the original theatrical production, I might have tuned my feeble consciousness to the proper frequency. But, I despise the notion of needing to be a fan of a work previously to understand and enjoy a film. The film should stand enough on its own to be judged thusly. This, by its lonesome was an attack on my cinematic sensibilities, full of spite for my eyes and defilement for my sanity. Besides, I feel like those Cats lovers have already been infected with a toxoplasmosis-esque parasite that has rewritten the fabric of their awareness to tap into the ethereal Jellicle plane.

The devil’s bargain between human limitless beauty, otherworldly facade, scatalogical sexual exploits and completely neutered asexual bizarrity is a star-crossed whore of Babylon. Continually slow dance between the inclination of appreciation for dazzling human achievement in movement & music and the twisted sinewy abomination of CGI overindulgence & unenjoyable repulsive miscarriages. Nigh the totality, the latter dominates.

The incantations of disturbing visions; wet matted hair as sexually secreted rumpled fur. It is wrong and displeasing on the base set of levels while flittering with the pretension of allure. Surprise: inscrutably navigating the comical dregs does not make for an enjoyable experience.

I question the sanity of the studio and producers. I question the director; both his foresight and his innate ability to adequately tell a story, let alone adapt the indescribable. But I question most of all: what is jellicle?