3/18/23 - Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) - 4/10

Although it is trying and wanting  so baad to retain the charm of the original, it collapses on the weight of its inept build and weightless drama & appearance. I don’t think that the super family dynamic, the mythical baddies, or the regular human interactions generally work - it’s all so “meh” and mid. But I also feel like this is a tights’n’capes film designed for kids, and I am not the target demo. I think they could do better with this, no matter who it is designed for, but for as unenthusiastic as the watch was, it’s still not a bad movie, just lacking and uninspiring.

The only upside of this film are the playful interactions of the obviously magnetic couple Jack Dylan Grazer and Rachel Zegler. They both have presence and I found genuine enjoyment out of their high school meet cute time on screen, which plays like something right out of a Spider-Man film.

Other than the temporary semblance of stakes at the very end, the whole affair feels light. It all looks very CGI and weightless, the tension is stale and with the heft as a bursting bubble, and a connection to any particular element of the film is slippery at best. I don’t demand the highest quality nor elevation beyond buttered popcorn, but this film still pops and fizzles with mediocrity. It isn’t funny and it isn’t fun; a kid’s whiffle ball bat missing all that might score some points with me.

The action and battles lacked any teeth. The bridge collapse opening scene had character but was unsatisfactorily silly. None of the engagements with the villains evoked anything and the monster battles, especially the rainbow tasting commercial with horned behemoths, were cheesy and lame.

It’s a film that once I hit send on this review, I won’t think about ever again. Never a “pull my hair out” or “ eye-rollingly boring” feature, just blah and pedestrian - certainly nothing super about it.