10/7/21 - Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) - 3-/10

My expectations were low and Carnage splatted right into them like murky goo flung at the wall. I don’t care much for Venom beyond its early comic incarnations, as it has taken up residence alongside lots of Harley Quinn and Deadpool. As opposed to those other overly-fanned properties which were able to provide at worst some slight modicum of entertainment no matter how lowest common denominator/made for children they might be, Venom seems to completely whiff on any humor or engagement. They have abandoned any concept of horror that might be innate with the character and concept, striving more for an asinine buddy comedy. It’s like Grumpy Old Men, but instead of talented and funny old actors we are given a downtrodden charismaless Tom Hardy, an uninteresting CGI glop-monster, and no jokes.

Sure, there aren’t the infantile dick jokes of a Deadpool, but there also isn’t any exciting action either. It’s weightless muddy CGI gack-guys, one read and one black, punching eachother in shadowey spaces, with no stakes or consequences. Its devoid of interest or enticement and, save the stinger scene, nothing changes.

Woody Harrelson and Naomi Harris stop by for a while, solely as cartoon characters that have only the most tenuous and unbelievable ties to the characters & story of the film. Not fun, not funny, no meaningful backstory, and even less sense. 

Yeah, I didn’t like the first Venom, but at least it did something, no matter how poor. This is complete vacant popcorn fodder, just without the amusement and a whole lot more slimy grimy gooeyness. But, it seems to be the biggest theatrical hit of the year so, what do I know?